Monday, December 21, 2009

The NHL Enforcer

The Enforcer is unofficial role in the NHL. Other terms for this role are "tough guy" or "goon." Their job is to protect the star players. Enforcers are expected to respond violently to violence or dirty plays to star players. Typically they are just fourth line forwards that are given limited ice time and don't provide much offensive help. The role of the enforcer has diminished in this post lock-out era. The rules were changed so the game would be faster and allow more scoring. Teams have less of a need for enforcers although they still exist. Instead, the team as a whole is expected to defend each other. No doubt there are guys like Hal Gill and George Laraque hanging around. Vancouver has the secret weapon of Rick Rypien, standing at a mere 5 ft 11 in. He's been in many fights in his short NHL career and has taken on the role of David with a smile on his face. Although he's only recorded 7 pts in 41 career games, fans love him because he pummels guys that are a foot taller and weigh 40 lbs more than him. If you are looking for the new prototypical NHL Enforcer, look no further than Rick Rypien. He'll make you think twice about playing dirty.

Pest Control

Every team in the NHL has a guy or two that plays with grit and really gets into the oppositions head. The pest will do anything and everything to annoy, anger or distract the opposing players in order to bait them into bad penalties and reduce their effectiveness. Some of the tactics that they use are hooking, slashing and good old fashion trash talking. One of the premiere pests in the game, Sean Avery took this to a whole new level during last season's playoffs. Future Hall of Fame inductee Martin Brodeur was harassed by Avery as he stood just outside the crease and continually waved his stick in front of Brodeur's face. In light of this incident, league officials have made that tactic an offense. The NHL pest is an important part of the game. The league might slowly be trimming down the role of The Enforcer, but The Pest will always be there. Just like real life pests, these hockey players learn to adapt to the rules and find ways to annoy and even chip in timely goals. Here's my list of 5 notable NHL Pests:

1. Sean Avery
2. Alexandre Burrows
3. Jarkko Ruutu
4. Matt Cooke
5. Steve Ott

I played with a guy before and he took it to another level, even annoying the opposing team's girlfriends.

I wrote this article as a prelude to something that does not have anything to do with sports. I was getting ready for bed after catching the tail-end of Casino on Showcase when I hear a ruckus on my roof. Was it a would be robber attempting a late night heist? Unlikely, but I had to make sure. I woke up my cousin so we could investigate this matter. He tells me that there are two raccoons fighting on our turret. I grab a basketball and decide that I will throw it to scare them away. He warns me of their rabid nature and I have second thoughts. Looking out the window I see one on the turret, one right in front of me on the ledge and another outside my front door. It's a good thing I didn't go outside. The raccoon on the front steps would have probably attacked me causing me to fight back prompting both raccoons on the roof to come down and ravage me. I hope we don't have a raccoon problem. Damn pests.....

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Colin Campbell Campaign

Colin Campbell, the NHL's Senior Vice President and Director of Hockey Operations is most notably known for his role as it's principle disciplinarian. I've been keeping an eye on the suspensions that he's been handing out this season. There is an obvious double standard in this league as far as suspensions go. Goons who commit offenses are punished hard. Superstars who commit the same offenses are let go. I decided to try to figure out how Colin Campbell makes his decisions on suspensions and found this very helpful flowchart.

Last night, I watched a horrific accident in the Florida Panthers vs Atlanta Thrashers game. After the Trashers scored a goal, Panther's defenseman Keith Ballard took out his frustration on the hockey post. In his attempt to baseball swing his stick and break it on the posts, he inadvertently bashes his own goaltender (Vokoun) in the game. He probably won't be getting a suspension for this incident, but he really should. Colin Campbell should make an example of Ballard so no further incidents like this occur again. Well here's a video of it:

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Raptors Facing Extinction

Steve Nash has a long list of accomplishments in his tenure in the NBA. After today's game against the Raptors, he can add being 12-0 lifetime versus this franchise. That's not the real story though. The Toronto Raptors have lost 7 out of 9 games and seem to be struggling to compete with the best teams in the league. The problem has been brewing since last year, so lets do a little recap.

Last year they ended the regular season with a record of 33-49. Sam Mitchell was fired and Jay Triano was brought in. They traded highly paid Jermaine O'neal for Shawn Marion. The team went into the All-Star break 13 games below 0.500 and ended up missing the playoffs. In the off season they unloaded the talents of Jamario Moon, Anthony Parker and Shawn Marion. They picked up Marco Bellini, Hedo Turkoglu and Jarrett Jack.

Jarrett Jack and Chris Bosh are best friends since they played basketball together in college, so his acquisition brings some comfort to Bosh. Smart move by management. Toronto is really becoming a team full of international players with the likes of Turkoglu, Bellini, Nesterovic and Bargnani. With the way their team is built right now they are considered one of the better offensive teams in the league. They have a top 10 player in Chris Bosh and bunch of decent shooters. Their problem lies in their atrocious defense. Jay Triano said something today along the lines of "we are just getting used to some defensive schemes." Well here's the problem. The Raps are 17 games into the season and Triano should have addressed the defensive schemes in the preseason. The Raptors have the talent to score 100+ each game, but when they aren't firing on all cylinders their team is in trouble. It seems that every day player is a superstar when playing against them. It's time for Triano to work on some team defense or else this team will be facing extinction. If they miss the postseason this year it will decrease their chance of resigning Chris Bosh. If he leaves the team won't have a chance of making it their in the new future. Continually missing the playoffs spells extinction for the Raptors, just like the Grizzlies in their time in the NBA.

Exciting Football This Weekend

I am impressed by the quality of the Grey Cup and the Vanier Cup this past weekend. Both games were entertaining and were completed with late game victories.

Vanier Cup: Queens University came from behind to beat the Calgary Dinos in the championship game of Canadian university football. Just when it looked like the Dinos would take home the cup, Queens QB Danny Brannigan leads them to a fourth quarter comeback. With seconds left in the game, the Dinos QB Glavic throws a perfect touchdown. On the ensuing two point convert to tie the game, the receiver catches the ball in the end zone but can't hang on. Yeah it was a Canadian football contest and yes it was exciting.

Grey Cup: I watched the Grey Cup today even though the B.C. Lions weren't in it. I went to a game a few years ago versus the Saskatchewan Roughriders and was shocked at their fan support. It was a game that took place at B.C. Place but I felt like an outsider as a Lions fans. Roughriders fans are nuts! They are always decked out in their green: hats, pilsners box hats, cut out watermelons and other swag. They are the best CFL fans in my opinion. I'm definitely digging their use of the watermelon. Today's Grey Cup featured the Saskatchewan Roughriders vs the Montreal Alouettes. Montreal was heavily favored by football pundits but they didn't play that way in the first half. Many thought that the Roughriders had a shot to win because of their 13th player (their rabid fans). The Roughriders led the contest 17-3 after the first half. This year, Montreal's QB Anthony Calvillo made it his mission not to have a single bad game. He led the team to a 15-3 regular season before whomping the B.C. Lions 56-18 and winning the Most Outstanding Player Award. Today, Calvillo led Montreal to a second half comeback that will be remembered forever. After being down by as much as 17 points, Montreal was only down by 2 points with less than 5 seconds to play. They attempted a game winning field and missed. But wait.... A flag was thrown because the Roughriders had too many men on the field! They had 13 players on the field (ironically not their fans). The flag drew a 10 yard penalty and Montreal had another chance to win the game with 0:00 left on the clock. The kick was good and Calvillo cements his place in CFL Glory.

It was unfortunate for the Roughriders to have lost the Grey Cup like that. However, I think it was fitting that Calvillo and Montreal wins this year.

I never thought that I would write a post about the excitement in CFL/CIS football, but it just goes to show that there is talent north of the border.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

NFL Update

Every year there's a team that starts strong and then seemingly fades out of contention. This year that dubious honor goes the New York Giants and maybe the Denver Broncos. After a 5-0 start the Broncos have lost 5-6 and now hold a 6-5 record. They still have a chance to make the playoffs but they need to a lot better. Eli Manning has to stop moping after interceptions and start leading his team to victory. As good of a quarterback as he is; he is the biggest buzz kill when he throws an INT.
The Denver Broncos started 6-0, lost 4 straight and then won their last game against the Giants. The verdict is still out on the Broncos, but lets re-evaluate them after their bout versus Peyton's undefeated Colts on December 13th. Speaking of the Colts, they are yet again amongst the best in the league. In my opinion the top three teams are:

1. Indianapolis Colts (10-0)
2. New Orlean Saints (10-0)
3. Minnesota Vikings (9-1)

1. The Colts have only won their last 4 games by a combined total of 10 points. This shows that they are finding ways to win and that's a tribute to their strong defence, coaching and Peyton Manning. Good teams always find a way to win. Bad teams always find a way to lose.

2. The New Orlean Saints are just firing on all cylinders right now with Drew Brees at their helm. They face the New England Patriots on Nov 30 in a battle that will test their true depth.

3. Favre has been remarkable for the Vikings.

Growing up I never watched the NFL, with the exception of the Superbowl. I am glad to have discovered this marvel. This league is just very strong and the teams seem to succeed. There isn't constant talk about struggling franchises being put in situations where they can't succeed *cough Phoenix *cough. I recently found out about the USFL. It was a professional football league that sprung up in the 1980s. Originally, their season was during the spring not to conflict/compete with the NFL. Donald Trump (Apprentice, money mogul) owned one of the teams, the New Jersey Generals and brashly wanted to challenge the NFL. The league ended up folding after a few successful seasons. ESPN recently released a documentary on the USFL in part with their 30 on 30 series. I recommend you check it out.

The Detroit Lions threw up another turkey on Thanksgiving against the Packers. The NFL and NBC really needs to stop scheduling the Lions to play on Turkey Day. They have become a bad franchise in the last decade and the league needs to stop awarding them for their past achievements. When was the last time they were champions or even remotely decent? Next year lets have the Patriots battle the Colts.

The Wellwood Phenomena

On Thursday November 26th, 2009 the Canucks played against the L.A. Kings and won 4-1. The story of the night wasn't Luongo's superb goaltending or the Canucks strong play but rather an empty net goal that brought the home town crowd to its feet. Earlier on in the game, Tanner Glass scored a goal and was promptly booed by the fans because they wanted the credit to be given to Wellwood. This is not a knock on Glass or anything but that's just how much we seem to adore this underachiever. It's not often that an empty netter is worthy of a standing ovation, but on this night Wellwood received just that. Fans just seem to like him even though his play doesn't justify it. Good job guy, now that you've scored goal #1 it's time to earn your pay cheque.

NHL update

A quarter of the season has now been completed. After a fast start, the Colorado Avalanche have been playing like most hockey pundits predicted, garnering a 3-5-2 record in their last 10 games. This might be the first time in many seasons that the Detroit Red Wings are not occupying the upper echelon in the Western Conference. Their division rivals, the Chicago Blackhawks seems to have planted their own place there. With young superstars (Kane, Toews), solid defense (Keith) and good goaltending (Huet), the Blackhawks are 8-1-1 in their last 10. They are winning games in convincing fashion, usually by 4-5 goals. It's still early in the season but here's some teams to look for and others to tune out.

Teams to watch:
New Jersey Devils: Brodeur in net is always a recipe for success. Parise is proving that he is a Hart Trophy candidate.

Nashville Predators: 8-1-1 in their last 10 games even though no player is on pace to score more than 30 goals this season.

Struggling: 3-4-3 in their last 10 games and losing Ales Hemsky puts the Edmonton Oilers on this list. Don't expect to succeed when your first center has 8 assists and -8 +/- rating in 22 games.

Giving up a 3 goal third period lead is not considered too surprising for the Carolina Hurricanes who sit at the bottom of the Eastern Conference.

Leafs Watch: 5-4-3 in their last 10 games. Phil Kessel and Niklas Hagman are litting up the lamp post. Kudos to Kessel performing as well as he has.

Monday, November 16, 2009


Sunday, November 15, 2009


The internet is filled with so much information. I wonder if there is a program out there that could track my history and give me a weekly report on which websites I go to, how often and how much time I spend on them. It would be like Google Analytics except from a user stand point. As far as I can tell most of my direct inputs go to Facebook, Twitter, TSN, Blogger, Google, Youtube, Wikipedia, Daisy Owl and Surf the Channel. For those of you who don't know, Daisy Owl is an online comic strip about an Owl that raises two kids and has a bear friend named Steve. It's pretty awesome. Growing up I always dreamed about having a huge encyclopedia collection so I can learn a little bit about everything. That dream came true with the invention of Wikipedia. During the spring and summer, I spend all of my time outdoors enjoying the nice weather. The rest of the year I hermit behind the television and computer screen unless I have school, work or I'm out with friends . Walks in the city just aren't as pleasant when the sidewalks are flooded and its cold outside. This reminds me: I must finish knitting those scarves that I was working so hard on.

Worst Contracts in Sports

To meet the demands of a passionate fan base, professional sports team often sign big name players to big time contracts. Everyone wants to snap up the next Wayne Gretzky/ Michael Jordan before a competitor does. Sometimes, these deals go terribly wrong and end up on my top 10 worst contracts in sports list:

10. In 2000, the Texas Rangers signed Alex Rodriguez to a 10 year/$252 million dollar contract. He is a future hall of famer, unless voters aren't sympathetic towards his admission to drug use. His time in Texas was futile so he was eventually shipped off to the Yankees so they could deal with the mess. So how many world series championships did he bring his baseball teams? 1. I think he is a good player, maybe even great. The hardware is what matters and 1 world series title just isn't good enough.

9. David Beckham was given a 5 year/$250 million dollar contract to bring fans and legitimacy to the MLS. Yes he does have quite a bit of fan fare everywhere he goes but the dude was way past his prime.

8. Jerome James was given a 6 year/$30 million dollar contract by the New York Knicks following the 2004-2005. He was touted for his decent performance in the playoffs for the Supersonics (12.5 ppg, 6.8 rpg). Truth is, the fellow barely belonged in the league. He averaged 3.1 ppg and 2.1 rpg for the Knicks. The man was paid $5 million a year to score 3 points per game. Isiah Thomas for the win.

7. I was a University of Kentucky fan growing up and also a fan of their legendary coach, Rick Pitino. In 1997, the Celtics brought him to the NBA under a lucrative contract of $70 million over 10 seasons. That's a huge contract for a coach, that's Phil Jackson caliber figures. Sorry but coaches shouldn't be paid that much unless they have a few NBA rings (as coaches) in their trophy case. Sure enough, Pitino was a bust. The Celtics didn't return to their glory under his tutelage and he was fired in 2001. They didn't even make the playoffs.

6. The 1998 NFL Draft would future two of the games future Hall of Fame quarterbacks, but it didn't. The first overall pick, Peyton Manning will go down as one of the great quarterbacks of the NFL. The second overall pick, Ryan Leaf will go down as the biggest bust in NFL history. Leaf and his 4year/$32.5 million dollar contract will be enshrined in trivia questions for future generations.

5. Grant Hill was the face of Sprite because image is everything. In College, he was the man. To this day Hill is still remembered for his successes with Duke. Right from the get go, Hill was a superstar in the NBA. He was one of the best all around players in the game. With his talent he was destined to end up in Cooperstown. The Orlando Magic signed him to a 7 year/$93 million dollar contract. Big money for a future hall of famer seems justified right? Here's the but. Injuries hampered his career and Hill only played 47 games in his first four seasons with the Magic. He never regained his superstar status. Although, he still made some All-Star games solely based on his popularity. The worst contract in sports history was awarded to a farmer boy from Gans, Oklahoma by the name of Bryant "Big Country" Reeves. He played for the woeful Grizzlies when they were in Vancouver and was given a lucrative $61.8 million dollar/ 6 year contract extension following two good seasons. He was an imposing physical presence with a decent mid range jumper. His next season (1997-1998) would be his best year, where he averaged 16.3 ppg, 7.9 rpg and 1.08 bpg. The big man had delivered for the franchise but only for that one season. He came into training camp overweight and the dream was over. Bryant Reeves would retire from the NBA in 2001-2002.

I read somewhere that Pavel Bure's 5 year/ $47.5 million dollar contract was a bad one. The man produced 58, 59 goals in his first two seasons and was still a point a game player the following three seasons. Knee injuries forced him to retire but Bure was still a great player. Florida wanted him to be the next great one, but there's only one and that's Gretzky.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The 50 Best Inventions of 2009

In 2009 there were many inventions that will one day change the world. The Electric Eye has the potential of bringing sight back into the lives of blind people. The $10 million lightbulb will greatly reduce our energy consumption by being a lot more efficient. The $20 knee will be the cheapest alternative to the $10000 prosthetic one that is available to amputees. The AIDS Vaccine will begin to stop this disease that's wreaked havoc since the 80s. If you are interested in reading about the rest of the Top 50 Inventions of 2009, check out the full story.

The Scoop

It's still early on, but the 10th overall pick in the 2009 NBA draft is quickly turning heads. His name is Brandon Jennings and he plays for the Milwaukee Bucks. In 7 games this season he is averaging 25.4 pts/game including a 55 point performance today at the Golden State Warriors. Even if it is a once in the lifetime game for him, he sure put on a good show. If you are a fan of the NBA pay attention to this kid I think he has potential to be a good player. For trivia fanatics: He was the first player to skip college to play professional basketball in Europe to be drafted in the NBA. He was also the youngest player to score 50+ points in an NBA game taking that honour from Lebron James.

Lebron James: New York Bound.

Lebron James thinks that Michael Jordan's #23 should be retired league wide just like Gretzky's #99 in the NHL. He grew up idolizing MJ like many of us did and remembers him as the best player ever. Lebron pointed out that "if I shouldn't wear his number then no one else should." Sounds a bit pretentious of him but LBJ is a pretty darn good player himself. I have a feeling that LBJ is hinting that he won't be staying in Cleveland after this season. In my mind here's how's it's all going down. Tell the world to retire #23 and gain more fans. Sign a maximum contract with New York Knicks and change his number to #6. LBJ plays another decade in the NBA and one day will be known as the best NBA player ever.

Post Secret

"PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard."

I found out about this website/community/movement a few years ago from my brother. I was immediately intrigued. Every different postcard contains another secret. Some of them are dark, really dark. Others are funny, romantic, strange and even sad. Imagine spilling out your secrets in a not so cryptic post card. It's all anonymous so no one knows who sent them or if they are even legit. I am sure there are people out there sending in fake ones as well. Here are some of my favourites:

Here's the official website

Here's another site that has an archive

Tennis Ball Dodgeball

Tennis Ball Dodgeball: One day one of the guys brought home a cardboard box containing about 50 tennis balls. He was throwing out the garbage when he stumbled onto this box. Like a true treasure hunter he retrieved and brought it home to the boys. We opened it up and the mayhem began. It started with just two or three guys throwing tennis balls at each other. Within 5 minutes the whole house was into the action. There were no teams, no rules just a bunch of kids running amok. Dan thought it would be a great idea to go into his room and change into hockey equipment. When he emerged with his pads and helmet he instantly became a lightning pole. It was a tough lesson to learn, but never wear hockey equipment and single yourself out. It was just a spontaneous event that I doubt will ever happen again. I am glad that no one was hurt. Here's another story that interest you --> Snowboard Jump off the Roof

Snowboard Jump Off the Roof

I woke up today listening to the gusting winds swaying the tree in front of my house. I realized that winter was coming soon and it brought by a wonderful memory. I used to watch television shows and they would glorify "snow days." I didn't really relate to these episodes too much because I was raised to stay inside the house when it snowed. There were no epic igloos or snowball fights. A few years ago I was living in the frat house and there was a huge snow storm. So many trees were blown over that they had to reroute the 99 BLine to 16th Avenue. It was my first real snow day and we had an epic snow ball fight with about 100 other guys. Each house had its own fort and we spent about 4 hours outside warring. School was canceled the following day because buses could longer get into campus. All snowballed out, we decided to do something exciting. A snowboard drop off our roof seemed like a good idea at the time. It was about a 3 meter drop onto a hill and then our picnic bench. We spent a few hours building it and people came to witness the marvel. They brought out their snowboards and skis and took turns dropping off this roof. I am glad that no one was hurt that day, but I'm still impressed that we built something so cool. Here's another story that was memorable ->> Tennis Ball Dodgeball

Friday, November 13, 2009

Top 5 Hottest Female Athletes

I decided not to write too much for this piece. I don't want to come off as a chauvinistic pig or a liar either. I am a male and I enjoy watching women's athletics for its entertaining purposes just like I do the NBA or NHL. There is an added value, my eyes enjoy the sight of Maria Sharapova in spandex a lot more than Brett Favre. Here's my list for Top 5 Hottest Female Athletes

5. Sasha Cohen - 2006 Olypmic Silver Medallist was also a gymnist growing up.

4. Ashley Force chose to go into the family business (funny car drag racing).

3. Danica Patrick - Another speed demon makes my top 5 list. She competes with the big boys and kicks their butts while she's at it. She loves to (insert bad joke here).

2. Natalie Gulbis - She's a professional golfer on the LPGA tour and a former contestant of Celebrity Apprentice. She proved that she's got the connections, the brains, the athletism and the looks to succeed in everything that she does.

1. It has become cliche to put Anna Kournikova on the top of any hottest female athletes list. It would be a grave injustice if she wasn't however. She was a professional tennis player in the 1990s known more for her beauty than her aptitude on the court. She wasn't a bad player, but she just wasn't that great.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Need energy? Drink Powerthirst!

Sports Digest - Thumb Wars

Welcome back to another weekly segment of sports digest.

Thumbs up to Anze Kopitar of the Los Angeles Kings for continuing his break out year in the NHL. Playing in his fourth season, this underrated superstar is currently leading the league with 30 pts in 19 games. He's on pace to record 129 points which almost doubles his career high. If he can keep up this pace, he will bring the Kings back in the post season for the first time since the 2001-2003 campaign.

Thumbs down to the Vancouver Canucks for losing the last 3 games by a combined score of 11-3. They started a different goalie in every game and still lost. The offense has got to pick up the pace and start finishing. They won't be able to win many games by scoring only one goal.

Thumbs up to the Blue Jays organization even though they had a very disappointing season. Aaron Hill and Adam Lind shone through the medicrioty and won silver slugger awards awarded to the best offensive player at each position. These two guys will be pivotal in the future success of the Blue Jays (that's unless they don't pull a Vernon Wells aka Big Country Reeves).

*a Vernon Wells: sign a big fat contract after a really good year, letting the success get to your head and gaining a bunch of weight, proving to critics that you're not worth it
Thumbs up to the Kings organization for having the hottest ice girl, Sarah. Yes, those are probably fake.


It's Movember everyone and it's time to grow out your mustaches to support men's health. I did it last year and due to my genetics it just doesn't work. The only decent facial hair I have are my sideburns. Here's a collection of awesome mustaches.
Come back and check out our feature on the prolific play off beards. Nothing bonds a professional team better than growing out facial hair.

Tom Selleck has two pictures, cause his mustache is just that awesome.

Superman vs Superman

Everything about Orlando is magical. Wonder world, the Orlando Magic and the fact that in less than two decades, two Supermans have anchored their paint. Every little boy grows up idolizing a different super hero and at some point claims that they are the living version of it. In the 1990s Shaquille O'Neal put Orlando on the map with dominance in the paint. He routintely tore other big men to shreds and broke the glass as he dunked. He made Shawn Bradley look like a pansy. Shaq was not just a man, he was Superman. He brought the Magic to the finals in 1996 and then bolted to Los Angeles. I was only 8 at the time, but Penny Hardaway and Shaq were my favorite players. He left the Magic in the dust and went on to win 4 NBA titles (3 with the Lakers, 1 with the Heat). Orlando was left derelict with no real shot at winning the title. For years they were at best a mediocre basketball team. The Magic needed help and they found it in Dwight Howard. Straight out of highschool, Howard would be the new Superman. For the past decade, Shaq was the dominant force in the paint but a new hot shot was bound to take over. It's just kind of amusing that Dwight Howard also calls himself Superman. When O'Neal played for Orlando he was cheered on as their hero. Now when he visits, a chorus of boos echos the building every time he touches the ball. There is a new Superman in town, Dwight Howard. It's still pretty early on in his career but the man is pretty good. The physical specimen that stands at 6 ft 11 has already garnered 3 All Star, 3 All NBA team, 2 All Defensive, 1 Defensive Player of the Year and 1 Slam Dunk Trophy in his 4 years in the league.

I like Dwight Howard and he is a pretty good center in the league but Shaq was the most dominant center in the NBA. DH is strong no doubt, but Shaq was a beast. The man had to be triple teamed and still couldn't be stopped. Shaq changed the game so much that they had to invent the Shaq attack to stop him, by sending him to the foul line. Detractors will point out that he has a terrible FT %. Imagine shooting a ping pong ball in a beer cup 10 meters away. DH's FT% aren't that great either (58.5%).

Past Superman vs Future Superman

Career stats:

Shaq: 24.6 pts/game 11.2 rpg/game 2.4 blocks/game
Dwight: 17.3 pts/game 12.5 rpg/game 2.0 blocks/game


Shaq: 4 NBA Titles, 3 Movie roles: Blue Chips, Shazam, Steel, 1 MVP, 15 All-Star Team, Rookie of the Year, 14 All-NBA Team, 3 Finals MVP, 2 Scoring Titles, 3 NBA All Defensive Teams

Dwight: 3 All-Star Team, 3 All-NBA Team, 1 Defensive Player of the Year, 1 Slam Dunk Title

Star Quality:

This one goes hands down to Shaq, the great aristotle, Superman, the big Diesel, Shazam. The man goes by so many names because he just has so much character and charisma. Dwight Howard isn't just another stiff lipped boring athelete and does have star quality but he'll never be Shaq. Dwight Howard has moon boots on his feet and can jump very high but it's unlikely that he'll never reach the dominance that Shaq has throughout his career.

The United States of Dumb Part Deux

Welcome to the second installment of The United States of Dumb. In a land with 400 million people, unfortunately a large proportion of them are pretty clueless.
Reporter: How many sides does a triangle have?
American #1: 4
American #2: 0, there are no sides
So maybe Miss South Carolina isn't the only one that is a few cogs short of a clock.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Steve Nash Future Hall of Famer?

The prodigal son of Canada was recently bestowed the Order of Canada. When he retires in the next 5 years will he have done enough to earn Hall of Fame status? As a Canadian citizen I am quite proud of what he has accomplished in the NBA, but it was a bit late in his career. Lets take a look at the argument from both sides, those who think he should be in the Hall of Fame and those who disagree.

Steve Nash Future Hall of Famer:
1. He won back to back Most Valuable Player awards (first Canadian to win an MVP award)
2. He made the players around him better. Over his 6+ seasons in Phoenix he has averaged 10+ assists per year.
3. By the time Steve Nash retires he will be top 5 for total assists, 3 pt% and FT%.
4. Every MVP winner eligible for the Hall of Fame has been inducted.
5. The man had a profound impact on the game of basketball. This point gives partial credit to Mike D'Antoni. Nash ran a high octane, small ball offense that made the game of basketball exciting for fans to watch again. Although no team has yet win with this style of playing, it's made the NBA a lot more entertaining. The success that Phoenix had with small-balling made this strategy a popular one amongst other teams in the league.

Why Steve Nash should not be inducted:
1. The Basketball Hall of Fame is not meant for players who were elite for a short period of time. By the time he retires he will have played just short of 20 years in the NBA. I'm guessing that he would have 5-6 years of Elite level play under his belt. This is under the assumption that his remaining years in the league will show a decline in his play. This is a strong argument against his induction.
2. He was just a product of Mike D'Antoni's run and gun style coupled with All-Stars like Amare Stoudemire and Shawn Marion.
3. He was a defensive liability.
4. He has yet to lead his team to win the Conference Finals or NBA Championship.

Those are the following arguments for and against his induction. I'm kind of on the fence about this one but if he can continue his elite level play in the NBA I think he will make it to the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Wear Sunscreen

Baz Luhrmann put out this thing back in 1999. I listened to this thing back when I was in grade 6. It's not really a song or a poem, just a bunch of good advice from some guy.

5 People You Should Follow on Twitter

When I heard about Twitter I was a bit skeptical. Micro-blogging using status updates? The idea at the time seemed a bit silly to me. Why would I be interested in knowing what other people had for breakfast or who they ran into that day? Little did I know, Twitter was made for people like myself. I signed up this past summer and the idea did not catch on right away. Most of the people I followed were friends from work, who I saw on a regular basis. September came along and school was back in session. I felt a bit disconnected from those people and decided to get back in the loop again by putting Twitter back on my phone. The harmonious relationship between myself and Twitter has been strong since that day. Some people tweet to be funny. Some do it to express emotions. Some people are unfollowed because they tweet too much and drain my cell phone batteries. :)

Here's my list of 5 people that you should follow on Twitter.

1. rainnwilson

He's the guy that plays Dwight Schrute on the Office.

recent tweet: LT, Crabtree, Shockey and Steve Smith combine for 150 yds and no TDs. Krasinski will take the crown. Idiot.

2. taylorswift13

She's the girl next door with a million music awards and over 1.5 million followers. As an avid country listener, I have been fan since the get-go.

recent tweet: @butchwalker covered You Belong With Me and I'm losing my MIND listening to it! Blown away. This weekend rules.

3. funnyordie

Just a bunch of people online making funny videos and tweet posts.

recent tweet:
Mambo Dog just wants to dance!

4. TherealOdrama

Host of The Real Odrama show always makes me laugh with his off color remarks.

recent tweet:
I'm an asshole, wipe me down biiiiiitch

5. TheEllenShow

One of my idols because she is witty, funny and always dances up a storm.

recent tweet:
I still can’t find my purse. My lips are starting to get chapped.

That's my list, if you would like to follow what I have to say add me at @Therealjayho

recent tweet:
Gotta love socks fresh from the dryer! :)

How to Attract LBs - A guest post by Rebecca Wu

This is Grapes and Peanuts' first guest post written by my good friend Rebecca Wu. In her day to day life she seems to encounter a lot of these kinds of guys. I've asked her to help me understand more on this subject matter. Here's what she had to say

How to Attract LBs

1. Tell them excessively that you admire their style and look.
Even if they look exactly like their other friends, tell them how great their hair looks or how well they dress. They like to hear that the money they got from their parents/drug dealing/selling weapons was well spent; all thousands of it.

2. Call them “cute” and “adorable.”
If they are or not, they like to hear it. Tell them they’re `sweethearts `for helping you move something or call them `dolls` for just greeting you. Being labeled `a cutie` by a woman is an ego boost; especially from older women.

3. Hug them excessively.
Young LBs don’t realize that a hug can be strictly platonic. They usually think you’re into them. Use this to your advantage.
4. Show that you care.
Even if you don’t, mention how you worry about them when they do something stupid. Show that you have a maternal care for them, like anything that affects them will actually have a toll on you.
5. Don’t tell them how dumb they are.
In fact, display admiration for them when they declare to fight another guy for staring him down or for calling him out on his similar clothes. Also, envy them for spending their paychecks on material items.

Proceed with the above actions with caution. These techniques can cause an LB to be attached for a long periods of time. Should their entertainment value expire, slowly drift away (via text, ignoring calls/messages). Should you blow them off completely, you’ll be labeled a bitch among their LB group.

-Written by Rebecca Wu

When I asked her to write this article I gave her no guidelines or limitations. After reading the article it would seem to me that she is purposely attracting these LBs. I feel sorry for these guys because I was once of them myself. The cougars that preyed on that, shame on them. The boys that fall to their tricks, shame on us. Truth be told the terms LBs and LGs get tossed around so often that I have a hard time figuring out who is clumped into these these categories. Next week we will try to get a guest post written by the foremost leading expert in LG research, The LG Professor. Their website will help us assess, inform and prescribe cures to this lifestyle that has plagued our nation. Stay tuned for updates.

The Real Odrama Interviews Money Hungry Syndicate

The Real Odrama is at it again. This time he interviews a rap group based out of East Vancouver. I went to high school with two of these guys and they pay tribute to growing up in the hood. Everybody grows up in the "hood" whether it be in Burnaby, Pocompton, North Van, West Van, the West Side or most notably East Vancouver. I love my city and the area that I grew up in. It's hard to compare a walk down Commercial Drive, eating a greasy meal at Bons or chowing down on some Bao Chau (one of few Vietnamese restaurants that I like to eat at). All of these things represent East Vancouver and in a sense so does Money Hungry Syndicate. Their music might not be appreciated by everyone out there, but I still enjoy it because of the East Van factor.

I giggled a bit when I heard the crowd chanting "East Van! East Van!"

Check out their music ->

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Slam Poetry 101

I've been watching a lot of slam poetry lately. I like the energy that these poets bring to the audience and the messages that they convey. In this clip, a teacher is snubbed by a lawyer based on how much money he makes. He is infuriated by the adage "if you can't do, you teach," and fires back with a tantalizing poem.

The True G's

Sports Digest

The C.F.L. is Canada's Football league where the field is wider and there are only three downs to every drive. It's an 8 team league where the stakes are low. I support Canadian everything but lately it's hard to pay attention to this game. I do love the fact that the B.C. Lions do give a lot back to the community that supports them. They send out tickets to local elementary schools and send players to give speeches about pride and respect. I am not really bothered by the number of teams in the league, but rather how easy it is to make the playoffs. In the NHL, there are 30 teams, 15 in each conference. 8 out of 15 teams in each conference are given a playoff birth (just over 50% of the league). In the C.F.L. 6 out of 8 teams make it. You could potentially be the worst team in a division of 4 like the Lions are this year and still have a shot of competing for the Grey Cup. I think the owners and the commissioner need to sit down and rethink this whole thing. I propose that the top two teams in each division make the playoffs not the best 6 out of 8. A league that lets 66.66% of its teams make the playoffs is one that I'm about to tune out. For the love of the game, lets make it a 4 team playoff scenario.

The NFL is just a mighty fine league. Remember when Michael Vick was sentenced to two years in jail for animal cruelty and lack of judgment? Well, he's back this year playing for the Eagles and there has not been much media coverage around him. Truth is, he has yet to provide that extra punch that Andy Reid was touting when they signed him. Once, Michael Vick was an exceptional athlete with exorbitant amounts of wealth, fame and fans. Now, he sits on the pine waiting for coach to let him experience that field he used to dominate.
One a happier note, 40 year old football legend Brett Favre still proving that he has got game. Surrounding by a good set of receivers, rushers, offensive linesmen and solid defense, Favre has brought the Minnesota Vikings to 7-1 start. Packer fans sure were/are/always will be angry at him for signing with their division rivals. Favre is 2-0 versus the Packers this year throwing 7 TDs while torching their secondary. Some athletes have had a hard time retiring from the game they love and end up hurting their careers even though they have nothing left to prove (Pedro Martinez, Alonso Mourning, Ken Shamrock, Allen Iverson, Chuck Liddell, John Daly, Peter Forsberg, Claude Lemieux), Brett Favre still has it. A few years from now if he is still chucking the pigskin around he might have to join that list. It's tough for athletes to go from a life on the road, structured practices, routines they have been going through for most of their adult lives to retirement. When you have been competing for as long as many of these guys have been, your mind doesn't want to stop but your body does. I applaud the likes of Chris Chelios for still having that desire to compete, even at the age of 47. He signed an AHL contract with the Chicago Wolves so he could continue to play hockey at a high level. He's not only sharing locker room space with kids half his age but best of all he is sharing his love for the game.

The NHL - The Leafs suck but are no longer the worst team in the NHL. That dubious honor goes out to the Carolina Hurricanes.
Andrew Raycroft has been stellar in net for the Canucks as Luongo's backup. Kessler and Burrows continue to prove that they deserve every dime in their contract extensions. Maxim Lapierre is as soft as the inside of a banana. Steven Stamkos is making a serious case to be included on the Team Canada roster for 2010. Anze Kopitar is a burgeoning unknown star in the NHL who is currently on top of the leaderboards. Rick Rypien is just waiting for the sucker to challenge him to a fight (David beats Goliath Part 7). The lucky loser point continues to make a big impact on the rankings of the teams. Darcy Hordichuk records his first goal of the season. The Colorado Avalanche continue their impressive start to the season. San Jose Sharks putting up Ws in the regular season as usual.

The NBA - I was having a discussion with my brother earlier today on the players in the league. He might be one of only a hand full of people that I know that enjoy the game and know a bit about it. Die hard Lakers fans who just yell out "Kobe. Kobe. Kobe." do not count in my book. We decided that the Top 5 players in the league are Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony, Dwayne Wade, Dwight Howard. Honorable mentions: Chris Paul, Chris Bosh, Steve Nash
This list isn't based on what these players have achieved throughout their careers, it's about the present. The draft class of' '03 is incredible considering Lebron, Carmelo, Wade and Bosh were all drafted that year. If only Darko would only emerge from the shadows of mediocrity and live up to the expectations of scouts when he was drafted 2nd. When the woeful Grizzlies left Vancouver for greener pastures in Tennessee I decided that Toronto would be my new team. It feels like a crime to support a team based out of Toronto, but I live in Vancouver and people here really only care about the Canucks (when they are winning). Back to the Raptors update.

Since last January, Andrea Bargnani has shown the Toronto Raptors that he is worthy of that number one draft pick. He's a good three point shooter with a good free throw percentage averaging over 20 points per game. He's one of few European big men to be able to shoot like that beyond the arc, Dirk Nowitzski being the other. I miss the energy that Jamario Moon brought every night and the perimeter defense that Anthony Parker provided. I think Jarrett Jack and DeMar DeRozan will bring more to the table for the Raptors. Moon, was often misguided and took many ill advised shots that hurt the Raptors. There's been a lot of buzz around injured newcomer Reggie Evans. He is known for his rebounding, tenacity and hustle; skills sets that will make him a very valuable role player for this playoff bound team. Bosh is about to hit free agency and this might be his last year playing for the Raptors so I hope that they go far.

FIFA - Congratulations to Honduras on qualifying for the World Cup. One day Canada will be there.

Those are my ramblings on sports these days. As a present to anyone brave enough to have read up to this point, here's a nice picture of a hot canucks girl.

The Brick of Shame

The Brick of Shame is given out to individuals, organizations, events that deserve it. It is equal to the walk of shame; the embarrassing exit of a person leaving a one night stand's humble abode. Each brick of shame will have its place in being the building blocks behind the Great Wall of Shame. The Real Jay Ho would like to present the first Brick of Shame to. *drum roll*

Congratulations are in order for the Underground (official newspaper of the UBC Arts Undergraduate Society). This Brick of Shame is awarded due to parody gone terribly wrong and bad judgment by writers and editors of the paper.

This extremely offensive piece was written as a parody about rape in society. It perpetuated a stereotype about fraternity guys being sleaze bags and date raping girls. I think that issue is such a serious one that satire should not be used. I do believe in free press but this was poorly written and hurt a lot of people in the process. The editor has publicly apologized for releasing this poor piece of journalism if you can call it that. Unfortunately, this past incident will forever place The Underground in the Great of Shame. Please read the article for yourself by clicking on the images and forming your own opinions on it.

Here's the Ubyssey's condemnation of the article